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JUNIOR

So, What's Your Story This Time?

Excuses, excuses-everyone comes up with them once in 5. You were all set to go to Prom with this okay guy /girl when
a while. But have you ever sat down and tried to figure out just someone else asked if you'd go with them. Now you have
how talented you are at explaining your way out of life's little to dump Mr./Ms. Alright so you can go with Mr./Ms. All right!.
disasters? Well, here's your chance . This is a sticky situation. What is your approach?
a. "1-1 - did you really want to go to this silly little dance?
1. You got home from school yesterday with a pile of homework Yes? Urn, well ... <the guilt, the guilt!) ... okay, we'll go
and absolutely no burning desire to attack it. So you didn't, then."
and now it's first hour the next day,the hour your paper is b. "I have to wash my hair, so I'm not going to be able to
due. What will you do? go to Prom with you after all."
a. Throw yourself at the teacher's feet and beg for mercy. c. Stare blankly at Mr./Ms. All Right and break the news,
b. Answer, "My dog ate it." responding to nothing, including insults, pain, and threats.
c. Stare blankly at the teacher, responding to nothing, d. Put your arm around Mr./Mrs. All Right and whisper in
including insults, pain, and threats. his/her ear, " You know, I'm so glad I'm going to Prom
d. Reply, "I left it in the freezer accidentally last night when with you. Everyone else turned me down when they
I was getting a popsicle, and when I took it out this found out about my stay in the state mental institution.
morning, it.. shattered." I'm glad that a person like you can overlook something
2. Your best friend tries to set you up with this great cousin like my tendency to slit my dates' throats and watch them
of his/hers, so that he/she can sneak away_ from the house bleed to death."
for a little social life. How do you answer?
a. "1-1-1- well, if you really want me to . .. don't hurt me!
Yes! Yes!"
b. "I have to wash my hair."
c. Stare blankly at the phone, responding to nothing,
including insults, pain and threats.
d. "Well, I'd love to help you out but I think I'm coming
down with a brand new kind of social disease . They 're
about to name it after me and everything." Scoring: Give yourself one point for every a, two for every
3. Your little brother is working on a semester project for his b, three for c, and four for d.
science class. You "accidentally" crushed it, and now he's
going to get a five. What can you say? 5-8 You loser! Don't you have any self-respect at atl? What
a. "I'm really sorry I ruined your project! I'll never forgive a wimp. You just let people walk all over you, don't you?
myself until I spend the next 48 hours working non-stop If you ~an't assert yourself in high school, how do you ever
on a replacement." expect to make it 1n college? Give up nowl
b. "It wasn't me - the dog must have eaten it." 9-12 There's hope, but don't count on it. If you can't think
c. Stare blankly at your brother, responding to nothing, up some better excuses, your teachers are going to
including insults, pain, and threats. terrify you until the day you graduate. Get originall
d. "I read this really neat book about this boy who Get creative! Try something new, like an ornamental-
sabotaged his own science projects in his sleep. Just knot-tying class at the Y. You need some help.
imagine how guilty he felt when he discovered he'd been 13-16 Congratulations! You're not a wimp, you're not a
wrongly accusing his older brother. I'd hate for that to loser, but don't get carreid away with yourself
happen to you." because you could have done a lot better on this
4. You're in gym class and the teacher is making everyone do test if you'd wanted to. Cheat next time; almost
stretching exercises. You can't touch your toes and refuse to getting a perfect score isn't good enough. You're
injure yourself in front of the whole class . The teacher too easily satisfied. Get excited about life - you've
demands to know why you aren't participating. What's your got half a chance.
excuse? 17-20 Well, here they are. The liars, cheaters, and creative
a. ''I'm sorry - I wasn't paying attention! I'll do it now - story-tellers. Pretty proud of yourselves, aren't you?
see? I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Just don't send me to the Okay, so you did pretty good on the test. That's
principal!" proof enough that you never tell the truth. Better
b. "I don't know how." watch out - someday all your excuses are going
c. Stare blankly at the teacher, responding to nothing, to catch up with you. Until then, good luck with your
including insults, pain, and threats. imagination.
d. "When I was skiing in the Swiss Alps a few months ago,
I pulled a muscle in my back. My private physician, Doctor
Swizmiss, advised me never to stretch in gym class again .
I could sue you."

68 Juniors/Excuses
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